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Classic Facebook Status Quotes:
- Take photos of friends with their face squished against glass. Assign to your phone contacts; it’ll look like they’re trapped inside your phone!
- Sometimes I think Facebook is trying to insult me by some of its friend suggestions.
- Your girlfriend should never be jealous of another woman. Instead, you should do your best to make other women jealous of her.
- That awkward moment when you don’t know what to do with your life when you leave the computer, so you just get back on.
- Creating a nickname for your crush that only you and your best friend know.
- That awkward moment when you’re not sure if your phone isn’t sending texts, or if all your friends are ignoring you.
- One of the greatest feelings is knowing you made someone smile.
- Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
- That scary moment when you feel like someone was right behind you cause air was blowing fast.
- I wake up from my nap planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “Haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and fall back asleep.
- Sitting in your towel for ages because you’re too lazy to get dressed.
- I love it when people call me at 3 AM. “Hey, are you asleep?” “No, I’m skydiving.”
- I see you’re playing “stupid” again. Looks like you’re winning too.
- One day I want to be “Let’s Just Take My Helicopter” rich.
- I need to get out of bed and do something so I can justify taking a nap later.
- Hamburger Helper only works, if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.
- I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
- Looking back at the past and realizing what a idiot you were.
- Looking at graffiti on a bridge: Some people: that’s vandalism! Other people: that’s some dope art! Me: how the hell did they get up there?
- NASA has confirmed that May 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called “night.”
He knows what you’re doing on the interwebs…. dat browser history!
Greatest Soccer Goal Ever:
That.Was.Intense. Pretty funny :) Share if you liked!