What’s it going to be today… how about these hilarious funny facebook status updates?

• Monday = suck.
• I wonder if ET feels really stupid now that cell phones exist?  iPhone Home.
• I had a dream last night that MLK was having a dream but, instead of civil rights the dream was about a dinosaur named Samsonite.
• Selling oranges on the side of the road.  Tough economic times call for interesting jobs.
• Is there any movie/TV-show Hollywood hasn’t remade yet?
• Who farted?

Check back tomorrow for more awesome new funny facebook status updates.  Until then win some money playing online poker:

Play Online Poker

As Facebook becomes more and more Twitter-like.  They added the bonus feature of being able to have a Username.  With your beautiful new facebook username you can pick a unique 5+letter handle that will supposedly make it easier for ppl to find you.  So next time your at a bar you can tell someone to find you @ Facebook.com/EasySlutBag

Hundreds of thousands of the best Usernames were snatched up in a matter of minutes.  Among them:

Facebook.com/Myspace

Facebook.com/Twitter

Facebook.com/InsertJokeHere

This DIGG Article highlights some good stuff about the new facebook usernames.

Hurry up and pick your unique username today because soon all the good ones will be all gone!

Here is our suggestion for you:  Facebook.com/Akward  (Still available at time of writing!)

With this awesome new feature, we also add a new feature.  “Funny Facebook Usernames” where we will let you know some of the most humorous usernames we encounter.

Funny Facebook Status Updates Anyone?

Ah, you there!  You say you’d like some… Well here ya go little guy:

• I’m never drinking again…. And this time I mean it.
• The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
• It’s really scary what you can find in your belly button.  It’s time like these I wish I had an outie.
• If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
• if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCALATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

Now, if those didn’t provide you a laugh.  Then you are probably just a bad human being in general.

Verry cool time lapse video for you to post a link to:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/72511036@N00/3500258467

You are 2/5th’s the way through this week.  Keep on trucking and it’ll be Friday before you know it.

Meanwhile steal some Funny Facebook Status Updates from us:

• Parking spots are the sluts of the garage world.
• If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
• Why is the f*ck is the word abbreviation so long?
• I can’t define irony;but, I know it when I see it.
• There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can’t.

Link of the day: Nasa Space Shuttle Atlantis launching in High Def.

Share that with your friends they will be blown away.  Don’t forget to tell them you found it @ FacebookStatus.org

Facebook Video

Here is an awesome video that will have all your friends commenting!

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SMorJXe5l4

We allllll know you lack creativity so here ya go:

• What’s all this jibberish about people having to find themselves? Don’t they realize all they need is a compass, a map, or a GPS system?
• Virgins just don’t know what they’re missing!
• All a passport really says is that someone was able to PASS through all the security at the airPORT.
• Lying is a key to survival.
• I think there’s a huge conspiracy with the news media. They murder people and commit other crimes so that they can always have stories.

The daily fix of funny facebook Status Updates:

• I’m on the “Starts tomorrow” diet.
• I too can’t believe that it’s not butter.
• Whats the deal with all this Facebook Hacking?   Where are we Myspace, jeeez!
• iTunes just suffered a major melt down.  I now have noTunes.

• Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
  Dwight D. Eisenhower

Want to link your Twitter account to Facebook so that your status updates sync? Easy, here’s how:

Step 1: Search for “Twitter” in Facebook’s search field.

Step 2: The first result should be the one you are looking for. It is the application “Twitter.” Click “view application”

Step 3: Add the Twitter Facebook Application.

Step 4: Choose your settings and add the Twitter Facebook Application to your profile.

Step 5: Enter your Twitter login information.

Step 6: Choose to have Twitter update your Facebook status.

Step 7: Allow and Authorize Access for Twitter to Facebook.

Step 8: That’s it! Now every time you update your Twitter, your Facebook status will update automatically.

Taken from AJ Vaynerchuk’s Tutorial

You might have noticed the heart symbol in some of the Facebook statuses recently. Did you wonder, how they would have made it possible to put heart symbol in their status message? Do not worry, its very easy to do. In fact the heart symbol shown in the status message is not an gif image, but its a html symbol. So, only thing you need to know is the html code corresponding to heart symbol. The html code corresponding to heart symbol is ♥ and you can have spades with ♠ clubs with ♣ and diamond with ♦

If you are interested in more html symbols and codes you can refer here.

What’s with the constant status updates? I guess I just don’t care what people are doing every hour on the hour. There should be some kind of update limit. Is it a rule that you must disclose when you go to the gym? And everyone is always going to vegas. I’m at the gym. I’m in Vegas. I’m at the gym. I’m in Vegas. I’m at the gym in Vegas & I’m having french toast. Ill tell you if its any good in another update 5 mins from now.