Make Monday fun, share one of these…
Cool Facebook Status Updates:
- Running seems like a great idea until you actually start running.
- No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
- When you need to cough in an exam but you’ve already coughed like twice so you just sit there suffocating.
- I’m one of those people who has friends but is nobody’s favorite. If I don’t initiate a convo or ask to hang out, I’ll never see my friends.
- How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Tentickles.
- Jail isn’t supposed to be fun why do they get bunk beds?
- Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.
- Has Missouri ever done a tourism ad with the slogan ‘Missouri Loves Company?’ If not, what is even the point of Missouri?
- Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don’t really mean it. Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don’t really mean it.
- If someone tells you “it’s better than sex” they’re not doing the sex right.
- Unless you were severely beaten with a canned good, I don’t want to hear about how you’re in a food coma.
- I’m not saying golf isn’t a sport, but you have to do paperwork while you play it.
- A convenient thing about friending people from your high school on Facebook is that you’ll never need to buy a book of inspirational quotes.
- Global warming sucks but I’m kind of looking forward to riding a jet ski to work every day.
- I bet your ass gets jealous of all of the shit that comes out of your mouth.
- To get someone’s adrenaline rushing, hands trembling & the urge to punch you in the face during a heated argument, say, “You need to relax.”
- I’d be 100 % more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
- On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?
- You should be able to see who you would be sitting next to while you’re booking your flight. I would allow them to see stats on me if I got a discount.
- I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them..
Deep Sleep / Dreaming German Shepard Wakes Up…
That was funny! Guy must of been having a great dream :P