Make someones Thursday, share one of these…
20 Great Facebook Status Updates:
- NEW COMMANDMENT: Thou shalt not start Christmas advertising when it is still October.
- Shit’s spiraling out of control and I’m all like “wheeeee.”
- Your hair turns white when you get old for evolutionary reasons. Predators leave you alone if they think you’re a wizard.
- The year is 2089. Toasters are made clear now and no one burns toast or bagels. Crime is at 0%
- I know I’ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
- You can stop trying to drive me crazy. I’m honestly close enough to walk to it from here.
- Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets.
- The difference between cheating on your wife and cheating on your taxes is if you tell the truth, the IRS still wants to f*ck you.
- I’m trying to kick dairy and now I’ve got the milk shakes.
- I usually base my religious and political beliefs on flyers and pamphlets handed to me on the street.
- I don’t ONLY care about myself. I care about like 5 other people… and animals.
- No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad.
- Nothing like my bank account to kill any feelings of spontaneity.
- Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
- I wonder how all those really loud and obnoxious gifts I gave my nieces and nephews are working now?
- I find your lack of a Facebook account highly suspicious.
- My career path is now going to be committing enough crimes so that the FBI asks for my help in preventing other crimes.
- I love those moments where no words are said, but you just start laughing with someone.
- You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.
- If you say you can’t cook what your really saying is that you can’t read and follow directions.
Racing Fan has a Cool Trick…
That’s pretty awesome! Now I need a can to try this black magic.