Make your weekend last longer, share these…
20 Clever Facebook Statuses for the Weekend:
- New Rule: If I hold the door open for you and you walk by without thanking me I am guaranteed at least one attempt at trying to trip you.
- We take the naps we think we deserve.
- I wonder if anyone ever looks at me while I’m doing something and thinks I’m pretty. Because I do that all the time to people.
- Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
- I’d call you a tool, but even they serve a purpose.
- Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of shit going on?
- I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.
- Be good to yourself, you’re all you’ve got.
- I am NEVER snotty or rude to somebody when I first meet them. People have to earn that shit.
- If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
- I know I’m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
- We live in a society that’s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
- Eventually we’ll all just have one app on our phones that electrocutes you when you stop looking at it.
- “Do you have a charger?” is the new “Could I bum a cigarette?”
- Don’t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex’s name tattooed.
- The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
- I need a hallmark card that says “Sorry for the things I’ve said about your girlfriend I didn’t know you were gonna get back together again”
- If I’m ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand.
- If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
- What if you woke up with amnesia & all you could remember was your Facebook password & you had to discover who you were based off your updates.
Best Beer Commercial,Perhaps Ever:
Kind of makes you want a beer, doesn’t it?