Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…
Best 20 Weekend Status Updates:
- I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
- Why are people sad when potatoes can be cooked in like 200 ways?
- “what’s your major in college?”
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because, I myself am still a little sore from the impact.
- My heart says chocolate and wine, but my jeans are all like, “SALAD.”
- I love you enough to actually talk to you on the phone.
- All the hot people are engaged. Except for me, of course.
- I just wanna stay home and cuddle my dog. Is that a crime?
- *drinks 1 bottle of water*
man I am so good at taking care of myself, I mean wow
- Thanks for pretending not to see me while I was pretending not to see you in order to avoid a miserably awkward conversation.
- I love when people give me bites of their food, but I hate giving bites of mine.
- Keeping your job is the new raise.
- If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.
- If you don’t have anything nice to say, say it louder.
- The fact that spiders can’t fly is one of God’s many gifts.
- I don’t make mistakes too often, but when I do it’s your fault.
- I’m not fat.
I’m just so sexy, it overflows.
- You never know how strong you are…. until you’re home alone and have to open your own jar of pickles.
- I never do sit ups at home because I absolutely hate domestic ab use.
- Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
Dog Lays On Horn When Human Takes Too Long:
LOL, really people?!? If my dog did this I would never leave him again because of how awesome he is. Like/Share if you enjoyed.