The Funny Status Update Website.

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Dude… its WedNesDAY. F-YA. Funny Facebook Statuses for EVERYBODY

Sup peeps.  Or should I say TWEEPS?  I just wanted to let ya’ll know that I loveeeee you.  Thanks for your support of the number one funny facebook status website on the interwebs.  Here’s your junk: Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. I don’t know why Wall St. uses bulls and [...]

Tasty Tuesdays @ FacebookSTATUS.org

Tuesday is my favorite day of the week… ya know why???  Because Tues comes from the latin word for Sleep-In.  Therefore today is Sleep-In day.  Not really.. but you could imagine what it would be like if it was! HA!  Sorry about that… anyways here are your dirty funny facebook status updates: If you ever [...]

Monday Funday – From Funny Facebook Status Update

Welcome to a new week.  In order to help you and your friends through this week here are your daily funny facebook status updates: Sorry, I don’t talk to morons before noon. I think I deserve a raise and a new corner office. The Blackberry is just a crappy wanna-be iPhone. When I get bored [...]

Thursdizzle fo Shizzle’ Facebizzile Updizziles

Sup my peeps. Ya’ll know what time it is.  Time for you to get your dirty yet clever status updates. Funny Status Updates: Define Irony: A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then [...]

Wednesday Afternoon Status Updates

Humpy day is nearly finished.  It’s again almost the weekend!  How awesome.  Unless you are one of those the glass is half empty sort of people.  Then well, you still have 2 days of work or school.  Here are your daily clever facebook status updates: This day in 1875, Billy the Kid was arrested for [...]

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    Latest on Wed, 12:40 pm

    Tara: A friend will ask you why you're crying, a GOOD friend will ask why you're crying while loading a shotgun, a TRUE friend will say [...]

    Mickala: I would rather check my facebook that face my checkbook.

    Connor: occasionally deals with a customer at work named Waldimir, but accidentally called him Voldemort on the phone this morning.

    JP: Batteries taped to pepto bismall containers, watches taped to cell phones... of course they aren't terrorist doing a dry run... Bad American for thinking that. [...]

    Susan: pay me in gum... wait. scratch that, pay me in skittles

    Susan: Sometimes, I want to copy other people's status' and see if they notice.

    Carol: I need to figure out how to get the benefits of a sugar daddy without the 'daddy.'

    » What's ur Funny FBSU?



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    • Anonymous says FML
      Today, at work, I answered the phone politely like I always do. The call was for my manager, so I stayed on the line until he picked up the phone, as we don't have a "hold" button. Before I hung up, I heard the caller say, "Who was that bitch that answered the phone?" FML […]
    • oops says FML
      Today, I was giving a belly scratch to a stranger's dog, and I saw what I thought was a tumor. I touched it, only to find out that it was in fact the dog's nuts, not an abnormal growth. My first trip to second base involved groping a Corgi in public. FML […]
    • Anonymous says FML
      Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML […]
    • Anonymous says FML
      Today, I was talking to my tattoo artist about how my girlfriend broke up with me. She had also gotten her tattoos from him, so they had talked quite a bit. He told me she had been cheating on me with her ex for two and a half months. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose business. FML […]
    • Nothingonyou says FML
      Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML […]