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Connor: occasionally deals with a customer at work named Waldimir, but accidentally called him Voldemort on the phone this morning.
JP: Batteries taped to pepto bismall containers, watches taped to cell phones... of course they aren't terrorist doing a dry run... Bad American for thinking that. [...]
Susan: pay me in gum... wait. scratch that, pay me in skittles
Susan: Sometimes, I want to copy other people's status' and see if they notice.
Carol: I need to figure out how to get the benefits of a sugar daddy without the 'daddy.'
Nirja Soni: Unfortunately for me mirrors don't speak but lucky u it doesn't laugh either...!!!
Chris: When I find out the a Facebook profile is public, I feel like a kid on Christmas Day...546 photos? Dont mind if I do!!
Twitter Goodies
FML
- Anonymous says FMLToday, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML […]
- anonymous.. says FMLToday, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scared for life. FML […]
- nakedyogagirl says FMLToday, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML […]
- AmICrappyEveryOtherDay says FMLToday, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML […]
- RM says FMLToday, I was asked by my boss to prepare the 2011 budget for a medical center that serves 32,000 patients. I am a summer intern, have no budgeting experience, and have never taken a finance class. FML […]