Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• I never understood why guys always have their hands down their pants. Then last night I found myself watching TV with my hand in my bra. It finally occurred to me...when you’ve got something great, you want to hold onto it.
• Losing weight doesn't seem to be working, so I'm concentrating on getting taller.
• If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it? (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 25,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
• The worst was getting in trouble with one of your friend's parents.
• Just caught my wife in bed with my best friend. I threw her out, then grabbed him and shouted, "Bad Dog! Bad Dog!" ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
• I recycle plastic. Here.. give me your credit card and I'll show you how.
• You can pay for almost anything automatically now a days, but if the company ever owes you money, it takes 3 bloody weeks to process.
• If life were more like a movie, we'd all be dead after about 90 minutes.
• "Do you have a cell phone?" You might as well be asking me if I have a pulse.
• I don’t understand why they call them men’s dress shoes because they don’t go with any of my dresses.

No clean cereal bowls? Line a strainer with plastic wrap. Laziness is the father of invention.

Funny Picture to Post:

Ah, that explains a lot.

And I couldn't resist posting this awesome pic:

Real or fake, you decide!

Funny Video to Post (On someones FB Bday):

Click here to view the embedded video.

Hahah funny!  Come back tomorrow for the world famous weekend wrap-up Cya then! If you need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  "Like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
• Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 25,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
• Walk a mile in my shoes... Then walk another mile... In fact, just keep the shoes and keep walking.
• Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
• Dance like the photo's not being tagged, Love like you've never been unfriended, Status Update like nobody's following.
• What exactly is a "run for the money?" Do I have to chase the money through a field? Who gave the money feet?
• It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole.

I am very suspicious about joggers. It seems as if they are always the ones who find the bodies. ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)

Funny Picture to Post:

The end of summer is upon us.  Soon it will be snowing!

Funny Video to Post:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Poor kid, Hahaha! Thank you very much for stopping in, we hope you laughed your way through Wednesday!  If you need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  "Like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.  Make sure to stop by tomorrow for more hilarious content.

Funny status updates for Facebook:

• The most valuable contribution social networking sites have made to my life is showing me how ridiculous it was to have ever been intimidated by or feel less than the people I went to high school with. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 25,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
• I never understood why people say booze is just empty calories. Sure, there's no real nutritional value, but those calories are far from empty, they're full of fun and awesomeness. ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
• After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
• We just adopted a baby. We wanted a highway, but it was too much red tape.
• There is a whole group of 5-8 year old girls who will be sorely disappointed when they get to high school and no one is singing and dancing through the halls.
• Some people live life in the fast lane. You're in oncoming traffic.
• If you don't understand why they call it high fashion, just look at the prices. (From our Twitter Account @FreeFunnyStuff)
• I've known myself for 20 years. How am I still able to convince myself that I can remember things without writing them down right away?
• I'm having awful car trouble. The car won't start and the payments won't stop.

The reason it's so hard to teach dogs to dance is because they have two left feet.

Funny Picture to Post:

Everyone wants a Ferrari but, hey at least your car still works!  Apparently Ferrari's are spontaneously com-busting, no joke.

Another Funny Picture to Post:

Funny Video to Post:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Watch out for the nasty weather this weekend   RIP Chris Farley! Have a safe and enjoyable weekend!  See you on Monday, folks For some more awesome content throughout the weekend "like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Thanks for stopping by!

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• When ur humble you are confident and wise. When you Brag you are insecure and lacking.
• Judging from the ads that constantly besiege us, I guess TV execs think that the only ones home watching TV during the day are injured at work, sick from a recalled medication, or unemployed with an abundance of gold jewelry. ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
• I don't know what my credit score is but I'm pretty sure I'm losing.
• I should have been a lawyer because, really... I object to just about everything.
• People like to put words in your mouth, predictive-text likes to put words in your phone.
• I'm going back to traffic school to get my Master's. (From our Twitter Account @FreeFunnyStuff)
• The Baker's motto... "It's nice to be kneaded."
• Birthdays are like buses.. Never the number you want.
• Driving on so many turnpikes is taking its toll.

Funny Picture to Post:

Funny Video to Post:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Hahah funny!  Come back tomorrow for the world famous weekend wrap-up Cya then! If you need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  "Like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• Have you ever dropped something, then caught it, then dropped it again and it shatters all over the place?  Ya, that's my life right now.
• A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 25k/users that average over 5+comments & likes per status update!)
• I sent my picture off to the lonely hearts club. They sent it back saying they weren't that lonely.
• If she farts in front of your parents repeatedly just for the reaction then she's a keeper.
• When I see someone using a payphone I always think they're arranging the ransom drop off.
• I tried driving today without texting, eating or getting high but it was so boring I fell asleep at the wheel. Thanks, Oprah.
• I'm thankful that baby teeth are the only things that kids lose while growing up. Imagine the trauma of a nose falling off. Or a leg. "Why's your daughter hopping around like that?" "Oh, she just lost her baby leg last night." ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
  
• Someday, I hope to befriend a friendly panhandler & learn the secrets of handling pans firsthand.
• If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down. That leaves a wide range of colors I have no idea what to do with.
• Ever hear of Feng Shui? It's an ancient Chinese expression which means, "Put your husband's crap in the garage." (From our Twitter : @FreeFunnyStuff)
• With a name like "Earl", I'm more afraid this hurricane will get drunk and beat a pregnant woman, than I am that it will cause flooding.