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The Funny Status Update Website.

We got your funny Facebook status update right here buddy.

Ze World Famous Weekend Wrap-Up

Posted on | August 26, 2010 | View Comments

Thanks for stopping in.... As you know, it's the freakin' weekend baby, I'm bout to have me some fun!!!  Here is some hilarious stuff to get you and your friends to enjoy the weekend...

Funny Status Updates for Facebook & Funny Tweets for Twitter:

• Goodness, Not feeling old enough this morning? Macaulay Culkin, who stared in the 'Home Alone' movies, turns 30 today.
• Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I was wrong.

I'm never going to grow up. I'm just going to stop hiding what I do
from my parents and start hiding it from my kids. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 25,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)

• I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink every night.
• ❒ Team Edward ❒ Team Jacob ✔ Team guy who almost hit Bella with a car
• Forgetting an email attachment is the 21st century's version of licking an envelope shut and then realizing you forgot to put the letter inside. ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
• I used to ingest expensive chemicals to blur the lines of reality. Now, all I have to do is take off my glasses.
• If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end. -- Mark Twain
• Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions. (From @FreeFunnyStuff)
• Heart palpitations count as cardio, right?
• The only thing the doctor found encouraging about my test results was they weren't his.
• Off to run a few fool's errands. Anyone need anything?

You can't believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.

Funny Picture to Post:

Giraffe after eating fast food everyday for a year.

Another Funny Picture to Post:

Funny Video to Post:

One of the greatest pranks of all time!  Hahahha, I would freak out if that happened to me!!!

Have a safe and enjoyable weekend!  See you on Monday, folks For some more awesome content throughout the weekend "like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Thanks for stopping by!

Good Times Thursday

Posted on | August 25, 2010 | View Comments

Glad to see you back, Friend   You're always welcome here!  Enjoy your Thursday by laughing through it with these witty one liners...

Funny Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter:

• Why do people never get talker's block?
• It would be very helpful to me if the rest of you would please stop striving for excellence. Thanks!
• Habits, babies, and promises. Way easier to make than keep. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 21,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
• ... CAT RULE #2: Get plenty of sleep so you can play at 4am
• I'm never going to grow up. I'm just going to stop hiding what I do from my parents and start hiding it from my kids. ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
• It's sweet that you want to be an organ donor, but there may be less painful ways than driving in my blind spot.
• Boss spelled backwards is "double S.O.B."
• Much like Superman, I have a Fortress of Solitude. But mine flushes.
• A day without sunshine is like... night.
• The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. (From @FreeFunnyStuff)

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Funny Picture to Post:

Another funny picture:

Funny Video to Post:

Oh Lindsay when will you learn!  Come back tomorrow for the world famous weekend wrap-up   Cya then! If you need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  "Like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

I LOL @ Wednesday

Posted on | August 24, 2010 | View Comments

Welcome to Wednesday, it's not a friendly day, but if you respect Wednesday, then Wednesday will respect you.  So do what I do and LOL your way through Wednesday...

Funny Status Updates for Facebook & Twitter:

• I remember, fondly, the days when I was a Perfect Parent, with Perfect Children. Back before I actually had any kids.
• O-P-T-I-M-U-S = 7 letters. That's a prime number. Optimus = Prime. Your mind = Blown.
• Tom Brady says he refuses to watch Hard Knocks. He doesn't need to watch. The Patriots tape the Jets practices anyway.
• I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number? (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 25,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
• In school, I always gave 110%.. no wonder I flunked math.
• Does this $2500 electrician bill make my ass look broke?
• I wear the pants in this family. It's so embarrassing when I go to Olive Garden, and the rest of my family is naked from the waist down. (From @FreeFunnyStuff on Twitter)
• After a certain age, they become less like "birthdays" and more like "sell-by dates".
• Reality is for people who can't use the internet.
• My boss is more than a mentor to me. He is my tormentor.

Whenever someone tells you to take their advice, you can be pretty sure they're not using it.

Link of the Day:  Video Review of the Funny Status Updates for Facebook App Review @ Daily App Show.

Funny Picture to Post (From our Facebook Fan Page):

Funny Video to Post:

That is a classic Pee-Wee clip to post on peoples walls for their Birthday or just because

Thank you very much for stopping in, hope you laughed your way through Wednesday!  If you need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  "Like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.  Make sure to stop by tomorrow for more hilarious content.

Tueday is soooo Funny!

Posted on | August 23, 2010 | View Comments

Aloha amigos   Welcome back, here are your silly status updates to get you through Tuesday...

Funny Status Updates for Facebook & Twitter:

• I wonder how stupid people knew they were being stupid before the slap to the back of the head was invented?
• ٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥ﺎ ٱц =)  (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 22,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
• So much rosemary. So little thyme.
• Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
• People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
• Taught a man to fish and now all he does is lie.
• I support the right of the Jedi to build a temple, but does it have to be two blocks from the ruins of the Death Star? (From @FreeFunnyStuff on Twitter)
• Dance like no one's going to put it on YouTube
• I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
• Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
• I guess if you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless, huh? ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
• WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.

Look iPhone, if I wanted to be constantly be corrected today, I would have stayed home with my wife.

Funny Picture to Post:

Hahah, a little sexist but Funny   To make up for it here you go ladies...

The Simple Truth

Funny Video to Post:

And that, my friends, is why you don't pick bricks in washer machines! Please stop in tomorrow for the always funny - mid-week status updates.  Get more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  "Like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

Monday Funday

Posted on | August 22, 2010 | View Comments

Hope you had a good relaxing weekend!!!  Laugh your way through Monday with these hilarious status updates...

Funny Status Updates for Facebook & Twitter:

• If you can't say something nice, we're probably related.
• Can we pretend that school desks in the classroom are like mattresses ? I could really use a nap right now.
• Why don't refrigerators have a milk dispenser next to the water in the door? You could just hold your cereal bowl under it and push the button. ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily funny status updates)
• I wear my hair departed on both sides.
• People are extremely open minded when you agree with them.
• If guys had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons.
• i wish life came with a remote to ◄◄ rewind ► play ▌▌pause ►► fast forward or sometimes just mute..(From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 21,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
• Playing Scrabble. I have Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
• MTV has 'My Super Sweet 16' & 'When I Was 17.' What's next? 'Officer, I swear I thought she was 18!'   (From @FreeFunnyStuff on Twitter)
• Man does not live by words alone despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.
• The bank says this is my Final Notice. Isn't it fantastic that they're not going to bother me anymore!
• Who is this 'little bird'? And why does he keep telling everyone my secrets?!?

Funny Picture to Post:

Funny Video to Post:

Alrighty folks, thank you very much for stopping in!  Check back tomorrow for more hilarious status updates, pictures, and videos to post to your Facebook or Twitter.  Get more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  "Like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.