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The Funny Status Update Website.

We got your funny Facebook status update right here buddy.

The World Famous Weekend Wrap.

Posted on | August 19, 2010 | Comments Off

Congratulations, the weekend is here!  Enjoy every moment of it   Here is what you came here for...

Funny Status Updates for Facebook & Twitter:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Explorer? It's social services. We are here to talk to you about Dora."
• Just polished off a gigantic plate of pasta. Feeling guilty about my carbonara footprint.
• By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 15,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
• Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
• I guess if you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless, huh?
• Whoa there, magazine, I already bought you. No need to pop out a million little post card babies asking me to subscribe. ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for more funny content direct to your FB.)
• Leisure is the mother of philosophy.
• Thinking about opening a center for battered fish.
• I'm sweating so many bullets, I just shot myself in the foot.
• I'm not anti social, I'm just really content not knowing you.  (From @FreeFunnyStuff Twitter)
• My doctor told me that I had to give up drinking. It's been 3 days now and I feel really dehydrated..
• The more vital your research, the less people will understand it.

Don't be mad because we bumped shoulders when passing. You didn't move either.

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Ahhh so this is how the housing issue happened!

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Have a safe and enjoyable weekend!  See you on Monday, folks For some more awesome content throughout the weekend "like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Thanks for stopping by!

Thursdays Funny Status Updates

Posted on | August 18, 2010 | Comments Off

Aloha!  Hope you're having a great Thursday here is what you came here for....

Funny Status Updates for Facebook & Twitter:

• If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 15,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
• I am the world's greatest authority on my own opinion.
• When a man speaks, people listen, then look. When a woman speaks, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.
• My doctor thinks I'm paranoid. He didn't say it, but I knew that's what he was thinking.
• The word OK looks like a sideways person. ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for more funny content direct to your FB.)
• Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
• When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."
• Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.
• "No iPods in school!" Yeah, because I'm gonna cheat off my test by listening to California Gurls.
• What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the terms of use"

Since I've been out of school, I've been to over 30 weddings. That's like 15 miles of the electric slide, people.

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Awwww Jeez mom!  Stay off Facebook

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Who doesn't love them some good ole fashion Cat Yodeling.  That's all for today folks, make sure to stop by tomorrow for the world famous weekend wrap-up! Need some more??  Get more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  "Like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

Mid Week Laugh-a-pa-looza

Posted on | August 17, 2010 | Comments Off

Congratulations, you've made it to Wednesday which means its time for more hilarious status updates...

Funny Status Updates for Facebook & Twitter:

• There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm sure looking...
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 15,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
• As a single woman, I often think about my future husband and how lax he's been about getting in touch with me.
• Men are like government bonds, they take so long to mature.
• Alzheimer's advantage: New friends every day.
• Imagination is intelligence having fun.
• They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is to keep it from creeping down into your body.
• There is nothing so small it can't be blown out of proportion.
•  I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. ツ (Want more like this one?  "Like" our Funny Status Update Fan Page for more funny content direct to your FB.)
• Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

I've started keeping two lists: "To do" and "Too late".

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Hahah, man that was an expensive prank!  Alrighty, that is it for today.  Stop by tomorrow for more hilarious status updates, pictures, and videos to post to your Facebook and Twitter.  Need some more??  Get more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  "Like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

Funny Status Updates to help get you through Tuesday

Posted on | August 16, 2010 | Comments Off

Hello friends, we've got some great status updates, pictures, and videos for you to post today.  Here they are...

Funny Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter:

• A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
• A chef is a cook who swears in French.
• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App - Over 15,000/monthly users that average 5+comments per status update!)
• I dare you to wink as much in real life as you do on online.
• You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because you're all the same.
• I find elevator music to be very uplifting. Unless I'm going down.
• Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
• I fear the day Facebook decides to inform users of who has viewed their profile...and how many times. ツ (From our Funny Status Update Fan Page "Like" it for more funny content direct to your FB.)
• The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
• The worst part about looking for a job, is finding one.

How come the actors in fast food commercials are all thin?

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Bravo, Wal-Mart, you win this time   Haha, alrighty folks well that is it for today.  Please stop by tomorrow for more hilarious status updates, pictures, and videos for your Facebook & Twitter. Need some more??  Get more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  "Like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

We’ve got the cure for your Monday Blues…

Posted on | August 15, 2010 | Comments Off

Happy Monday everyone   Hope you had a great weekend here is what you came here for...

Funny Status Updates for Facebook & Twitter:

• It's crazy to think that there was a time (not too long ago) when Myspace was bigger than Facebook and no one even knew what Twitter was.
• Alcohol doesn't solve any problems; but then, think again, neither does milk. ツ (From our updated daily FB Fan Page Be the 4,000th person to "Like" our new page.)
• Apparently "some assembly required" is IKEA for "here's a pine tree and some nails."
• Do you ever put your iPod on shuffle, then skip through every single song to find a certain one?  I do.
• Roses are red. Violets are blue. Friend requests are great. But who the hell are you.
• I hate when I have to be embarrassed for someone.
• ˙ǝןƃuɐ ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɐ ɯoɹɟ pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooן ɐ ƃuıʞɐʇ sı (Do upside down text using our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates on our iPhone App - Over 15,000/monthly users that average 5comments per status update!)
• Whenever I ask "Why me?... a voice always says, "So, who else did you have in mind?"
• I used to have a drinking problem. Now, I love the stuff.

"So long, suckers." - Exit sign at lollipop factory

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BTW, don't try that at home   Even though my friends and I confirmed it is more than possible.  Anyhow, enjoy the rest of the day and we will see you on Tuesday for more hilarious status updates, pictures, and videos to post to your Facebook and Twitter.  For some more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  "Like" our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.