Funk-ta-fied Friday Funny Facebook Status Updates
Posted on | October 9, 2009 | Comments Off
Try saying that fifty times fast. Well kids, it is the end of the week and once again you are craving the hottest funniest facebook status updates in the industry. And folks, this is it. So here ya go, you’re welcome:
- Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
- Insurance that no matter where you go, you can sway to the seductive crooning of Al Green, and/or Dokken.
- If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that’s what He’s getting
- I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
- Do ten millipedes equal one centipede?
Funny video of the day:
Embed link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9fIjYnPazc
Stay tuned folks cuz, it’s about to get a lot better here. Not that it was bad. But, you know… better is better.
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FML
- skinsfan7592 says FMLToday, my dad and I had an argument. Then we went outside to shovel the snow out of the driveway. I heard him yelling and figured he was just yelling at me some more, so I turned my Ipod up so I couldn't hear him anymore. Turns out he had fallen, cracked a rib, and needed help up. FML […]
- DD says FMLToday, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML […]
- klala says FMLToday, my boss asked me if I could work on valentine's day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML […]
- Anonymous says FMLToday, I lost my virginity to a guy who believes he is a Sith. FML […]
- dreamteam says FMLToday, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML […]
Texts From Last Night
- (484): just woke up to overhearing...(484): just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested? (610): well i fucked her too, so yes. […]
- (702): When i tried to give you...(702): When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion. (1-702): I've always been the spiritual type. […]
- (724): I just got a ticket for the...(724): I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard. […]
- (678): This frat boy drinking a...(678): This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes. […]
- (816): believe me... letting the...(816): believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward. […]
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User Submitted Status Updates
: If you put a slinky down an up escalator, will it slink forever?
: Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink !
: Soz Forgot You Wer Argg Yuu Shlaggg !
: BAD THINGYS! NOT KL!!!
: would you rather bee or a wasp?
: is this the mountain you wanna die on?
: Im super paranoid like it's a sixth sense
: After Monday and Tuesday, the rest of the week spells out 'WTF'.
: Press Ctrl+W, something magical will happen.
: Your legs are like netto, there open 24/7 but noone ever wants to come in! 
: (name) thinks a day without cun... is like night
: one day ma mothor came and ask wat r u doing there i answered i was on facebook.she slaped me ...how dare that it was [...]
: jelly makes my belly dance
: dear god, what wrongs with me??
: HEY YOU! YEAH YOU! NO, NOT YOU! THE OTHER GUY! YEAH, YOU! DO YOU LIKE TACOS?
» CLICK HERE & leave your own funny facebook status !!!