Funk-ta-fied Friday Funny Facebook Status Updates
Posted on | October 9, 2009 | Comments Off
Try saying that fifty times fast. Well kids, it is the end of the week and once again you are craving the hottest funniest facebook status updates in the industry. And folks, this is it. So here ya go, you're welcome:
- Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
- Insurance that no matter where you go, you can sway to the seductive crooning of Al Green, and/or Dokken.
- If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting
- I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
- Do ten millipedes equal one centipede?
Funny video of the day:
Embed link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9fIjYnPazc
Stay tuned folks cuz, it's about to get a lot better here. Not that it was bad. But, you know... better is better.
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FML
- Anonymous says FMLToday, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML […]
- Anonymous says FMLToday, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML […]
- Jamie says FMLToday, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML […]
- robotchickens says FMLToday, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML […]
- Nancy says FMLToday, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML […]
Texts From Last Night
- (413): i knew i liked her after...(413): i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way". […]
- (319): By connection do you mean...(319): By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection". […]
- (517): On my way home from Vegas....(517): On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out. […]
- (813): How am I a tease?
(1-813):...(813): How am I a tease? (1-813): Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away. (813): ONLY PART OF IT. […]
- (352): Pregaming for shuffle board...(352): Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break. […]
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User Submitted Status Updates
: just got a message from the police... my mum got stuck in the grocery store snd starved to death
: life was much simple when ; blackberry and apple were just only fruits 
: wants to know would you want her to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
: is holding a voodoo doll that looks just like you.
: bronte what are you talking about? lol
: is so broke that he cant even afford the last letter to update his STATU_
: hey i forgot your name can i call u mine?
: Is taking her pet fish on a walk .
: stole the freaking cookie from the cookie jar. Now get over it.
: Roses are red Viloets are blue, god made me pretty what the h### happened to you
: h said it was kinda like eating tofo
: just spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said concentrate
: Is joining the K Y Intimacy Challenge... Going it alone, pictures to follow!!!
: Is joining the K Y Intimacy Challenge... Going it alone, pictures to follow!
: I am soo hungry that when someone said it was chilly outside i went running out with my spoon!
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