Mediocre Monday Facebook Status Updates
Posted on | October 5, 2009 | Comments Off
Happy Monday, you inglorious bastard. If you haven’t seen ZombieLand yet. Do it. You won’t regret it.
Here are your bloody funny facebook status updates:
- I’m a Loner Dottie, A rebel.
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
- If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
- Many people believe certain numbers are lucky. What are your lucky numbers?
- On October 5, 1947, in the first televised White House address, President Truman asked Americans to refrain from eating meat on Tuesdays and poultry on Thursdays to help stockpile grain for starving people in Europe. (Go to article.)
Funny Facebook Video of the day:
Video embed code:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1922496
Article of the day: 5 Video Game Status Updates.
Stay tuned to FacebookStatus.org , big things are coming folks. BIG THINGS!
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Texts From Last Night
- (484): just woke up to overhearing...(484): just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested? (610): well i fucked her too, so yes. […]
- (702): When i tried to give you...(702): When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion. (1-702): I've always been the spiritual type. […]
- (724): I just got a ticket for the...(724): I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard. […]
- (678): This frat boy drinking a...(678): This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes. […]
- (816): believe me... letting the...(816): believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward. […]
Pages
User Submitted Status Updates
: If you put a slinky down an up escalator, will it slink forever?
: Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink !
: Soz Forgot You Wer Argg Yuu Shlaggg !
: BAD THINGYS! NOT KL!!!
: would you rather bee or a wasp?
: is this the mountain you wanna die on?
: Im super paranoid like it's a sixth sense
: After Monday and Tuesday, the rest of the week spells out 'WTF'.
: Press Ctrl+W, something magical will happen.
: Your legs are like netto, there open 24/7 but noone ever wants to come in! 
: (name) thinks a day without cun... is like night
: one day ma mothor came and ask wat r u doing there i answered i was on facebook.she slaped me ...how dare that it was [...]
: jelly makes my belly dance
: dear god, what wrongs with me??
: HEY YOU! YEAH YOU! NO, NOT YOU! THE OTHER GUY! YEAH, YOU! DO YOU LIKE TACOS?
» CLICK HERE & leave your own funny facebook status !!!