Terrible Tuesday Status Updates…
Posted on | June 1, 2009 | Comments Off
You are 2/5th's the way through this week. Keep on trucking and it'll be Friday before you know it.
Meanwhile steal some Funny Facebook Status Updates from us:
- Parking spots are the sluts of the garage world.
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- Why is the f*ck is the word abbreviation so long?
- I can't define irony;but, I know it when I see it.
- There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't.
Link of the day: Nasa Space Shuttle Atlantis launching in High Def.
Share that with your friends they will be blown away. Don't forget to tell them you found it @ FacebookStatus.org
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FML
- Anonymous says FMLToday, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML […]
- Anonymous says FMLToday, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML […]
- Jamie says FMLToday, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML […]
- robotchickens says FMLToday, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML […]
- Nancy says FMLToday, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML […]
Texts From Last Night
- (413): i knew i liked her after...(413): i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way". […]
- (319): By connection do you mean...(319): By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection". […]
- (517): On my way home from Vegas....(517): On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out. […]
- (813): How am I a tease?
(1-813):...(813): How am I a tease? (1-813): Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away. (813): ONLY PART OF IT. […]
- (352): Pregaming for shuffle board...(352): Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break. […]
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User Submitted Status Updates
: just got a message from the police... my mum got stuck in the grocery store snd starved to death
: life was much simple when ; blackberry and apple were just only fruits 
: wants to know would you want her to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
: is holding a voodoo doll that looks just like you.
: bronte what are you talking about? lol
: is so broke that he cant even afford the last letter to update his STATU_
: hey i forgot your name can i call u mine?
: Is taking her pet fish on a walk .
: stole the freaking cookie from the cookie jar. Now get over it.
: Roses are red Viloets are blue, god made me pretty what the h### happened to you
: h said it was kinda like eating tofo
: just spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said concentrate
: Is joining the K Y Intimacy Challenge... Going it alone, pictures to follow!!!
: Is joining the K Y Intimacy Challenge... Going it alone, pictures to follow!
: I am soo hungry that when someone said it was chilly outside i went running out with my spoon!
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