Funny Facebook Status Update of the day…
What’s with the constant status updates? I guess I just don’t care what people are doing every hour on the hour. There should be some kind of update limit. Is it a rule that you must disclose when you go to the gym? And everyone is always going to vegas. I’m at the gym. I’m [...]
Funny Facebook Status of The Week…
Funny Facebook Status
This week’s recap of funny facebook status updates:
Is…
Bamboozled.
in love with a stripper.
trying to sell my dad on all the reasons why I need that new iPhone for Christmas.
drunk. But, don’t call me a drunk.
slapping myself silly.
moving to china. Not really, but could you imagine if I did?
listening to the smooth jazz sound of [...]
Funny Facebook Status of the Week.
… is wasted.
… is wondering when these lame election commercials will end?
… is thinking of a number.
… is hunting rabbits, shhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
… is memorizing wikipedia so he can be smarter than you!
That’s it for this week folks. Check back next week for another funny facebook status of the week update. Remember to update often and check [...]
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FML
- Anonymous says FMLToday, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML […]
- Anonymous says FMLToday, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one that's in my math class, noticed me, regardless of me hiding. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML […]
- Anonymous says FMLToday, I became that small percent of people who face three different kinds of complications after their wisdom teeth are removed. FML […]
- heartless says FMLToday, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML […]
- anonymous says FMLToday, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML […]
Texts From Last Night
- (415): There are two people having...(415): There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms. […]
- (805): my dad just walked in on my...(805): my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad. […]
- (936): he kept asking me "do...(936): he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him. (812): and...? (936): I told him it was alright. […]
- (440): I did my dad and i had to...(440): I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee (1-440): please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation. […]
- (217): you kept yelling at her to...(217): you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals... (1-217): please don't ever take me to a strip club again... […]
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User Submitted Status Updates
: I got banned to use FB for posting "Facebook have no life" as status
: google just added "get biking directions" on google maps, this economy is getting worse.
: just got a message from the police... my mum got stuck in the grocery store snd starved to death
: life was much simple when ; blackberry and apple were just only fruits 
: wants to know would you want her to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
: is holding a voodoo doll that looks just like you.
: bronte what are you talking about? lol
: is so broke that he cant even afford the last letter to update his STATU_
: hey i forgot your name can i call u mine?
: Is taking her pet fish on a walk .
: stole the freaking cookie from the cookie jar. Now get over it.
: Roses are red Viloets are blue, god made me pretty what the h### happened to you
: h said it was kinda like eating tofo
: just spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said concentrate
: Is joining the K Y Intimacy Challenge... Going it alone, pictures to follow!!!
» CLICK HERE & leave your own funny facebook status !!!