Top 10 Worst Things to Do with your Facebook Status…
Sometimes writing for Shiny Shiny you get the opportunity to store up all the bitterness you collect day-to-day and spew it forth under the guise of ‘Opinion’. Today is one of those days. Facebook status updates: they’re difficult to get right, and they’re infuriating to read when they’re wrong. Here’s my Top Ten Worst Facebook [...]
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: A friend will ask you why you're crying, a GOOD friend will ask why you're crying while loading a shotgun, a TRUE friend will say [...]
: I would rather check my facebook that face my checkbook.
: occasionally deals with a customer at work named Waldimir, but accidentally called him Voldemort on the phone this morning.
: Batteries taped to pepto bismall containers, watches taped to cell phones... of course they aren't terrorist doing a dry run... Bad American for thinking that. [...]
: pay me in gum... wait. scratch that, pay me in skittles
: Sometimes, I want to copy other people's status' and see if they notice.
: I need to figure out how to get the benefits of a sugar daddy without the 'daddy.'
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FML
- Anonymous says FMLToday, at work, I answered the phone politely like I always do. The call was for my manager, so I stayed on the line until he picked up the phone, as we don't have a "hold" button. Before I hung up, I heard the caller say, "Who was that bitch that answered the phone?" FML […]
- oops says FMLToday, I was giving a belly scratch to a stranger's dog, and I saw what I thought was a tumor. I touched it, only to find out that it was in fact the dog's nuts, not an abnormal growth. My first trip to second base involved groping a Corgi in public. FML […]
- Anonymous says FMLToday, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML […]
- Anonymous says FMLToday, I was talking to my tattoo artist about how my girlfriend broke up with me. She had also gotten her tattoos from him, so they had talked quite a bit. He told me she had been cheating on me with her ex for two and a half months. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose business. FML […]
- Nothingonyou says FMLToday, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML […]