Best Quotes of All Time
Facebook Quotes
When it comes to status updates. Quotes are king. With the right quote you are going to get amazing feedback and great laughs! If you can spout off these quotes on queue you will be the life of the party (or facebook) every time!
Good Sources of Quotes:
- IMDB - Huge database of "memorable quotes" from all the best movies.
- BrainyQuote - Easy to navigate database of quotes.
- Good Collection of Quotes - Virginia Professor saved you some hard work.
- Great collection of Movie Quotes
All-Time Movie Quotes:
- "If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!" - Ace Ventura
- Ribs. I had ribs for lunch, that's why I'm doing this.
- Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!
- Great Odin's raven.
- I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said... my tummy itches.
- It's just like Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms... and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me...
- We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.
- I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
- It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
- On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
- Reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions.
- You have to do the best with what God gave you.
- My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
- Me and Jenny goes together like peas and carrots.
- You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
- I know what dude I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
- Pump your brakes, kid. That man's a national treasure.
- Being an actor's no different than being a rugby player or construction worker, save for the fact that my tools are the mechanisms which trigger human emotion.
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FML
- Lonely says FMLToday, I congratulated my friend for getting engaged. This is the fourth friend of mine this year that has become engaged. I haven't even had a boyfriend yet. FML […]
- er1133 says FMLToday, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML […]
- maggot says FMLToday, I had it off for the first time. I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML […]
- ShowOff says FMLToday, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML […]
- Anonymous says FMLToday, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML […]
Texts From Last Night
- (906): Either seal the deal or get...(906): Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore. […]
- (781): I mean I found and stalk...(781): I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed. […]
- (480): So he just rolled over in...(480): So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark...". […]
- (513): He promised he'd be the...(513): He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it. […]
- (651): All I remember about...(651): All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow. […]
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User Submitted Status Updates
: I got banned to use FB for posting "Facebook have no life" as status
: google just added "get biking directions" on google maps, this economy is getting worse.
: just got a message from the police... my mum got stuck in the grocery store snd starved to death
: life was much simple when ; blackberry and apple were just only fruits 
: wants to know would you want her to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
: is holding a voodoo doll that looks just like you.
: bronte what are you talking about? lol
: is so broke that he cant even afford the last letter to update his STATU_
: hey i forgot your name can i call u mine?
: Is taking her pet fish on a walk .
: stole the freaking cookie from the cookie jar. Now get over it.
: Roses are red Viloets are blue, god made me pretty what the h### happened to you
: h said it was kinda like eating tofo
: just spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said concentrate
: Is joining the K Y Intimacy Challenge... Going it alone, pictures to follow!!!
» CLICK HERE & leave your own funny facebook status !!!